Room 317 [evening]

[tatooine_doofus]

Luke's education on Tatooine had missed a few key points, and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru hadn't exactly been keen on filling in the details. ("Luke Skywalker, that's how you catch diseases. Stay out of the cantinas.")

But if he and Jo were going to keep moving forward (and he really, really, really hoped so. Dying a virgin would be sad.), he'd need to learn about this sort of thing.

And asking his father was just...a whole conversation he didn't want to have.

So he made a call to someone who was hopefully used to dealing with clueless boys from Tatooine, then stuck Artoo in the closet (no need for him to tape this, thanks) and paced by the door.

[OOC: For Inara, please.]

Comments

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke bounded over to the door. "Hi!" he said. "Come in!"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," she closed the door behind her and took the opportunity to glance around Luke's room. "How are you, Luke?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Freaking out.

"Fine," he said, chewing on his lower lip. "And you?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"I'm doing well," she told him, really starting to wonder why he called her, of all people. "If you don't mind my saying so, you seem a little nervous."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Do I?" he squeaked. "I kind of have a question for you."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Anything I can answer, I will," she told him, sitting down in one of the desk chairs.

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke looked dangerously close to spontaneously combusting from embarrassment. "Okay, I can't ask my father because...yeah. And you took that class from GOB over the summer..."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Pay no attention whatsoever to anything that man tells you." Beat. "On any topic."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"That's kind of why I'm asking you," Luke said, blushing to the roots of his hair and hoping she spoke fluent Tatooine Flail.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

She wasn't fluent, but without the awkwardness of actually dating the flailee, this would probably be easier. "What do you want to know?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"The mechanics of things?" Luke blurted. "How to get from one place to another without sprouting more arms or something or hitting her in the head with my elbow or doing something wrong and making her run screaming from the room...."

Breathe, Luke.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Okay, relax," Inara wasn't smirking at him, really. This was very serious. "First, is your race prone to sprouting extra appendages? Because that's not normally something you have to worry about. Second, there's very little that is wrong, unless it's something that makes your or your partner uncomfortable." She studied him. "With me so far?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Gavin thought I had a third arm at darts on Saturday!"

After they'd all had a lot to drink. Luke left that part out.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara burst out laughing. "Was this before or after the drinking? And did you have one, or was that just his blurred vision?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I kept looking for it," Luke flailed, "But I never saw it. I think it was the shots. Colored things are evil."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"So, maybe you don't have to worry about the extra arm right this minute?" She suggested gently.

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"And hopefully it won't come springing out at the worst possible moment," Luke said with a regrettable lack of awareness about other ways that could be taken.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Covering her chuckle with a small cough, Inara tried to keep a straight face. "Anything that might come, er, springing out, can always be put back behind closed, er, doors."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"...I'm supposed to be doing this behind a door?"

Sigh.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Most people prefer it, until they get used to the act itself. Then they get more adventurous."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke's brain finally began processing words in the correct order.

"Like...outside?" he squeaked.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

She nodded. "Yes, but, like I said, most people don't start there. At least not on purpose." Inara considered him. "You've never gotten carried away while you were somewhere slightly inappropriate? Or maybe even where there was a risk of discovery?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"No," Luke said, sounding a little disappointed. "I'm kind of terrible at this, huh?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"No, not at all," she tried to reassure him, "Just new at it, from what I understand. As for what goes where...how much about the mechanics do you know? A lot of lovemaking is instinct, but there are things that will make it easier on both of you when the time comes."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"A little bit?" Luke said, blushing hard. "I'm a quick study, though. I just don't want to make this more awkward than it's going to be already."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, this was where Inara's lack of actual hands-on experience left her high and dry. "It doesn't have to be awkward. When you're kissing...does your mind ever just...go? And suddenly you're doing things you don't remember starting, but can't think of stopping? That's all natural instinct."

It was possible she was giving away more information about her relationship with Gavin than she'd meant to, but it wasn't anything she was embarrassed by.

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke smiled at her. "Definitely," he said. "So I'm on the right track?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

She smiled back. "It sounds like it. And being nervous is normal, Luke. It's a new experience, and most people want to make their partner happy."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"If they don't, they don't deserve to have a partner," Luke decided firmly. "Thanks," he said. "After Gavin went to my father for advice, I decided that was a path I really, really don't want to follow."

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Gavin...went to your father?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I know," Luke groaned. "Could there be a more bizarre person to choose who wasn't GOB?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara flashed onto her future husband's face from Parents' Weekend, then shook her head. "Probably not." Maybe Luke would be kind and pass whatever she told him on to Gavin. "You wanted to know specifics, though?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"If you don't mind," Luke said, back to blushing.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"No, of course not." She smiled at him, "Would you like me to start right from penetration, or did you have questions about what happened before that?"

After a pause, she said, "Maybe you should just ask your questions, and we'll go from there."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Maybe a little before that?" Luke said, flailing. "When I, um," he made hand gestures that might indicate under the shirt action.

Or bringing an aircraft in to land.

"She really liked it when I used my mouth. Anywhere else that could be applied?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

She nodded, and hoped she was interpreting the pantomime correctly. "Arms, legs, fingers, toes, wherever looks interesting. Ears and necks have lots of nerve endings, as well as the inside of knees and elbows, so those should definitely get you a positive reaction. Basically, wherever looks interesting to you."

"Also, her nipples and clitoris are also erogenous zones, but you may not be ready for that right away."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"I figured out that first one," Luke said, looking Very Smug.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

She laughed. "I'm assuming your partner enjoyed what you did?"

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Yep," Luke said, grinning. "Gavin's figured that one out, right?"

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"That's none of your business," she told him, though her grin was probably not quite so secretive. "Your fingers and hands can also go wherever you put your mouth, as long as she agrees."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Oooh," said the very suave Luke.

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara was extremely impressed by the ultra-suave Skywalker. No, really. "You do know the whole point of the exercise, right? I mean, why you're making love to someone?"